The return of children (and teachers) for the new school year is almost upon us.
You are probably already getting ready for this by attaching name labels to uniforms, sorting out stationery, and trying to master the perfect “no bubbles in the contact” covering of schoolbooks.
Having reviewed the stationery list for your children, now might be an opportunity to also review any parenting arrangements for them. You may already have a Parenting Plan or Parenting Orders in place. But when was the last time you actually looked at these arrangements and is it still suitable for your children?
It is common for parenting arrangements to provide for school holiday periods, including sharing of the holiday period and back-to-school arrangements.
Given the general in nature of holiday sharing (which might change in alternate years), it is a good idea to check when the holiday provisions in your arrangements end and where the children need to be for the commencement of the school term.
Some Parenting Plans or Parenting Orders may have been drafted with automatic provisions that commence at certain milestones. For example, overnight time might be extended to more nights with the other parent when a child commences Year One or even a change to week-about time when a child reaches a particular year level.
There might be other provisions such as who is responsible for ordering and paying for uniforms or schoolbooks and stationery in a particular year or which sporting or extra-curricular activities are to commence.
Emergent or changed circumstances are often reasons for reviewing your parenting arrangements for a particular child.
It becomes more relevant for older children who might want to obtain a part-time job or drop certain activities to allow them to focus on one sport/activity or simply knuckle down for Year 11 and Year 12 studies.
When communicating with your former partner about whether your parenting arrangements need to be reviewed, consider:
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Discuss |
The current circumstances or challenges that both of you and your children might face in 2023. What might need to change as a result of any automatic provisions contained in Parenting Plans or Parenting Orders? Do the current parenting arrangements still work for both of you and your children? Do the current parenting arrangements reflect the current wishes of the children? |
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Be creative and flexible |
Is there something in the current parenting arrangements that is no longer appropriate or feasible, and what needs to happen to remedy these issues Before you begin discussions, consider your commitments (work or otherwise), the commitments of the other parent, and the commitments of your children. It might help to identify what commitments are fixed and whether there is flexibility for new or change circumstances. You can then communicate with your former partner, perhaps sharing the fixed or flexible commitments that are already known or might need to change. |
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How to discuss |
Seek your former partner’s input about their commitments so that you can work together for the benefit of the children. If you can’t do this face-to-face or Zoom or FaceTime, you may need to put it in writing. Some Parenting Plans or Parenting Orders have specific provisions about communicating these matters and how to resolve any disputes if they arise. |
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Be aware of the negative impact of conflict |
Children are seriously affected by high levels of parental conflict. Having child-focussed discussions whenever possible keeps your children from experiencing trauma. It also helps model appropriate and respectful behaviours for your children for their futures. |
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About Thynne + Macartney’s Family Law team
Although some Parenting Orders or Parenting Plans might have dispute resolution mechanisms, like attending family dispute resolution (FDR) or mediation, there is often a wait time of several weeks to access these types of services.
If you would like advice on your parenting arrangements or are unable to reach an agreement with your former partner, contact either one of Thynne + Macartney’s Family Law Accredited Specialists Andrew McCormack +61 7 3231 8859 or Nichola Di Muzio +61 7 3231 8827.
To learn more about parenting arrangements download our free Family Separation e-book or, if you’re ready to start preparing for your children’s future, use our online planning tool today.
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